but it's not because I am jealous or envious. I'm feeling jaded.
This last week I have talked more about politics and the state of the world than I have in months. I've made myself sick with frustration. My brain hurts, but not nearly as bad as my heart.
I saw the Flobots. I didn't realize how political and positive they were before last night. He talked about making a change. Making a country. Our country. About the flag being the symbol of a country that has yet to be created. About it being up to us. Up to me. Fight with tools. Rise. Rise. Rise.
There were a lot of people there. Randoms I've never seen before. A whole lot of kids. Not even old enough to vote. Kids who've only known Bush as president. Kids who don't know a president can be intelligent and competent.
It was hot. There was energy. There were a ton of fists in the air. There was screaming. I think I was the only one on the verge of crying. They just wanted to hear the radio hit. They weren't hearing what was being said. THEY DON'T CARE. Most of them won't vote. Most of them aren't thinking about it today. They won't do anything. They won't even talk about it. They weren't listening. They didn't realize how important it all is. They just don't care. Goosebumps. My ears were open.
I used to do so much. I was there. All the time. Doing something. Trying to help, save, change, SOMETHING. We started out so intense. So united. So strong. What happened? We didn't see it getting better. Only worse. We were tired. We were discouraged. I was getting in trouble. I was constantly shot down. I felt like I was alone. I was overwhelmed. I had to step back. I had to back up. Now I feel guilty.
I have feeling like I am not doing anything, but I hate feeling like there is nothing I can do even more.