It is amazing what letting something off your chest that you have been holding on to for years does to you. Explaining yourself for your behavior after taking years to figure out why you acted or reacted the way you did. Sometimes you don't even realize how much you were holding in until you get started. Letting it out also made me realize things I didn't think of before. I still feel silly, but that's okay, that is what happens. Live, learn, grow.
Now I don't feel so awkward, which in turn will hopefully make everything else feel less awkward.
I am sorry for surprising you with heavy words. Thank you for listening, especially when I didn't even realize I needed to talk.